It was already dusk when we were finally able to contact our Bhutanese classmate who arranged for our accommodation. We were outside the Grand Palace and were at loose ends because we did not know what her plans were and if she had plans for us. When we were finally able to talk to her, we learned that she had a dinner engagement that night. Since we did not want to waste anytime I convinced Wendy that it was the right time to go to the infamous Patpong. Unfortunately, we could not communicate with the vendors because “Sawasdee Ka” were the only Thai words we knew and the vendors we asked did not know how to speak English so we did not know how to get to Patpong. And I had this idea that Patpong was just near Grand Palace, which was totally wrong. We asked an old lady vendor how to go to Patpong and we were miming walking or taxi. She just smiled and nodded her head and pointed us down the road. We walked in the direction she pointed but we could not see anything resembling a red light district with a night market. Finally, we came to a rotunda, which I discovered the next day was a bus terminal, where we saw some more vendors. Our feet were aching with so much walking and we were pushing each other to ask again for instructions. We were shy in asking a man on how to go to a place well known as the flesh capital of the city. We got up our courage and approached another lady vendor. She did not understand us but she asked her companions and this middle-aged vendor guy who spoke good English told us that it was very far and that we had to take a taxi. We only had to tell the taxi to take us to Patpong. I think he was not convinced that we would be able to communicate with the driver so he volunteered to get us a taxi. After a few tries, he finally flagged down a taxi and told the driver where we wanted to go. He was so kind so I tried to give him a tip but he declined. I guess even in a place with a lot of tricksters preying on unsuspecting tourists, there are still good souls willing to help lost strangers.
It was a long taxi ride. The driver dropped us off at the entrance of a street that was lined with establishments but it did not look like anything like what we imagined Patpong to be. There were some skimpily clad ladies but we could not see anyone dancing inside doorways like we were told. So we walked to the other end of the street and turned left looking for the restaurant that a friend recommended. We were already very hungry by then. When we just circled back to where we came from, we finally admitted that we were lost. We went inside a small mall and asked if there were any internet cafes. A salesman told us that there was an internet cafe in Silom Complex across the main road. So we went across and asked around for the internet cafe. It was located in the third floor and when we reached it, we were told that they were closing in 15 minutes. We got one computer each and dropped our 10 Baht. Good thing my friend was online so I was able to ask him the name of the restaurant. I asked him how to get to Patpong and that we were in Silom Complex. He said that we were already near but he did not know the direction. We also searched the internet for directions but we only found that we were near the vicinity. When our time ran out, we asked the guy who was looking after the computers but he told us that he did not know. As if!!! Anyway, we went back to the entrance and we asked the guard. He looked at us funnily and said that after we cross we turn left and just go straight ahead, taking us further down the street than from the entrance of the intersecting road that we came from.
Finally, we saw the entrance of Patpong after walking for a few minutes. It was not a very long street filled with stalls in the middle and bars and restaurants on the sides. It was very well lighted and full of people. Going in, you will be met with guys with a list of shows that are available. Needles, pingpong balls, and other mind-boggling alternatives were listed. My stomach was already past growling stage so we just said told them later. We found Tiptop, the Asian Fusion restaurant, our friend recommended. We ordered tom yang soup that he raved about and something else. The tom yang soup was very delicious. Even Wendy who does not care much for spicy food, liked the soup. After eating, we went inside a grocery to buy some supplies. I could see a skimpily clad woman dancing inside a glass wall up the building. Maybe she was trying to entice customers to go in. After the grocery, we had no more money so we had to go to a money changer so that we can watch the shows that made Patpong infamous. We followed one of the guys who promised that it would only cause 100 Baht to watch a show and get one drink also. We climbed the narrow staircase and entered a very dimly lit room where the only illumination were in the middle where the naked and almost naked girls were trying to move sinuously to the music. Most of the girls were young but they already looked tired and disillusioned. They were just swaying there disinterestedly. Wendy and I found a table and we sat down. We were given drinks, (we chose Royal Thru Orange in can), and left alone to watch. Beside us on the other table were 2 Caucasian girls, who Wendy later told me, seemed to be Lesbians. Anyway, we were very nervous watching the girls on the stage because it was so dark and there were seedy characters going around and one of them put a can on top of our table. Suddenly, there was a commotion on the table of the Caucasian women and they went out in a huff while two husky Thai women were trying to block them from going. A guard came and the two customers were able to escape from the Thai women. On the floor, the show continued. A naked dancer with a fat belly came on stage. Even though she had a big belly, she was very game and energetic. She withdrew a string from her private part which glowed brightly in the dark. She pulled and pulled until it became a long string. This was followed by a woman who came on stage with what looked like a birthday cake. Call me naive, but I was wondering what they were going to do with the cake that was full of candles that they were trying to light. I was getting impatient because I wanted to watch the pingpong show but I felt very nervous already and I wanted to go out. It turned out that the woman was going to use a straw inserted into her private part to blow the lighted candles. We had the right to feel nervous because suddenly the two husky women came to our table and flashed a price list lighting it with a flash light that showed that we had to pay 2,600 Baht for the show and the drinks. Now I understood why the two Caucasians left earlier. Wendy and I also got up and the women tried to restrain us but we forged along and went to the cashier. The women stopped harassing us when we neared the cashier. There we paid the agreed upon 100 Baht. We were so happy to get out of the place in one piece.
It’s really true that curiosity can really kill the cat. Finding and experiencing Patpong is one adventure that I would never forget.
